Tuesday, March 22, 2011
-
Learning Japanese
:
Perhaps you have heard me complain how I dislike learning a third language, how I dread going to the MOELC every week. Perhaps you feel sorry for me, or perhaps you are wondering why I don’t quit. While you know the evil side of learning Japanese, I thought I should tell you guys how learning Japanese strengthened me.
Every week, especially Monday night, I wonder why I’m still learning the language, why I don’t just get it over and done with. Every time I look at the withdrawal form, my heart is very tempted to take one and fill it in. I want to, believe me. As the weeks go by, the stress increases. With the extra subject, the heavy workload is bringing me closer to hell. You will say, “Just quit lah!” But it’s not that easy. Why?
Every time I think of quitting, I think of Xiying. Now, before you ask, I’ll tell you why. Before Shihui or even Vanessa Leo quit, there were 4 of us. Now 2 of them are gone, it’s left with me and Xiying. If even I quit, Xiying would be left alone. You might say, “She can quit too!”, but her father does not allow her to quit. That, my dear friends, is reason number 1.
Number 2. Isn’t it a waste to just quit learning after you have survived for so long? The longer I stay in Japanese class, the harder it is to leave. I would think back to all the times I have made it through when I thought it was too much, and I end up telling myself, “I’ve done it before, I can do it more.”
If you asked everyone who complains about going to the MOELC every week but still do, they’d probably tell you the same thing. Also, learning Japanese is a huge test of my not-so-good discipline. The time we have to learn the new language is only 3 hours a week, it would be a great disadvantage to us if we are not clear about what is learnt in the previous lesson, as the new grammar and vocabulary would confuse us. This means a lot of self studying at home and utmost attention to the teacher during class if we want to score well for the language.
Just because of this reason, getting an A for the subject, like I did last year, gives me a huge sense of satisfaction. The best reward ever.
Japanese, as mundane as it might be, has its advantages. :D
I thought i would add some humor and make the post more interesting. :D
Rhonda=) blogged at 7:47 AM
Friday, March 18, 2011
-
Conflicts
:
Note: This post is all my personal thoughts, nobody will be named, only lettered.
Have you ever found out your friend has 2 different faces, where the person is totally nice to you, then becomes another person towards another friend, mainly mean? If you did, what did you do? I seriously need advice, 'cos this is where i am now.
Recently I found out that there's this person, Person A we shall call it (so as not to reveal gender ), it has been being very mean to this friend (Person B), yet it my presence, she becomes all smiles and very nice.
To some people it can mean nothing, but to me, i suddenly feel disgusted even sitting at the same table as Person A. It seems as if it is wearing a mask that nobody can see through, yet in front of another person, or should i say its closest friends, she tears away its mask, and bullies them. You may thing its normal to tear away your mask in front of your closest friends, but you do that to be yourself, not bully your friends! So by bullying its friends, it means that that is her real face, and that face is mean.
After this piece of knowledge, I suddenly feel that I cannot sit at the same table as Person A and feel the same way towards it. Suddenly i feel as if i want nothing to do with it, and run as far as possible. I'd rather it scream and shout towards me, be mean towards me, such that i can not be friends with it, rather than being nice to it, knowing the face behind it.
Honestly speaking, I feel scared. I cannot rip that mask away, and i cannot suddenly ignore Person A. It means that i cannot do anything to help Person B. Perhaps you think Person B shouldn't let Person A climb over its head, but you can't blame a person for being too nice, right?
This makes me feel bad, very bad. I can only watch Person B complain, and I can only comfort her, but I can do nothing to make the situation better.
Here, I come to my title, Conflicts.
What I really want to is to rip that mask away.
What I really want to it to confront Person A.
But I can't.
Why? Because A is my friend.
What I really want is to help Person B.
What I really want is to make it better for you and me.
But I can't.
Why? Because A is my friend.
I really want to forget.
I really want to ignore.
But I can't do anything.
All I can do is to submerge myself in conflicts.
This is a short poem that I came up in 5 minutes. That's why it sucks, but it contains all my thoughts and emotions about this event. I hope this will be over, and someday I will forget, I wish i could ignore the sufferings of Person B. But when?
Rhonda=) blogged at 6:11 PM
Monday, March 14, 2011
-
Flag Day
:
Hey Everyone.
Yesterday, with Elaine and Laural, I went for flag day for community involvement program. While my main aim was to earn CIP points, the flag day was a very meaningful day for me.
Standing with with my metal tin with a picture of a monkey taped it, i wasn't really looking forward to the next 3 hours. At the start, standing outside Tampines MRT station, alone, it really felt lonely, low confidence. I started with,"Good Afternoon, would you like to...." the word "donate" hadn't even come out of my mouth, I already faltered, because the first person I asked had ignored me. I took a deep breath, gathering the remaining of my confidence and continued. As my confidence level dropped further after the next few times, something made me smile - not the smile to humor the people, but a real smile coming from my insides, making me feel all warm and nice: I had my first coin. I never realised that a small coin could make me feel so happy, also, never would I have thought that a rejection would make me feel so dejected.
As I stood outside the MRT station for the next hour, my tin had gotten considerably heavier. This brought me delight. In that hour, I realised that a simple smile, whether its a smile for rejection or a smile saying "you;re welcome" to my thanks, would bring me such happiness. A cheerful child coming gleefully forward with a coin in his hand would make my day. Amazing isn't it? In the 1st hour, I stayed in the same place. Moving into the 2nd hour, i realised that the same crowd of people were moving towards me, and i decided, I needed to change my location. As I moved to the entrance of Tamp 1, i reunited with my friends. We complained about the hunger(Elaine) and the tiredness, and we moved on.
Outside Tamp 1, I realised, was a lot easier. Without the huge crowd rushing towards you, giving you a momments of dilemma, you feel a lot more confident. With the newly increased confidence level, everything was easier. Moving around, I met a lot of interesting people. A lady went to all of us, saying in mandarin, “giving to a Dunmanian is a must”. This simple sentence brought me joy. There was also a European lady who gave me $50. I mean, wow! That was the greatest amount I received that day. It really brought a smile to my face.
While the Flag Day is tiring, I must admit it is a great experience for me. Yesterday was the day I realised that a simple rejection could make feel like all my confidence rushed out of me. However, it was also the day I realised that a simple coin could make my day; the day I realised that a simple smile could make me feel all warmed up inside.
Labels: rHONDA
Rhonda=) blogged at 3:11 AM
